Imanbek Bayseitov, mediator: Everyone's point of view changes to positive when the conflict of those who applied for help is resolved, when we solve its cause through negotiations

Imanbek Zhanuzakovich Baiseitov, a mediator of the National Mediation Center, who has been trained under the Druzhnaia Zhizn (Friendly Life) project and is currently working in the village of Kyzyl-Adyr, Talas oblast, shared his achievements and observations in mediation activities.

“I gave my consent to big changes in my life when joining the Friendly Life program. First, I have obtained the profession of a Mediator, and second, my view of life in my old house have changed. This is because we avoid asking ourselves certain questions and do not think about the future or the past. When we have considered the questions that we learned from the training, we all went through changes. I understand human aspect as the Friendly Life project’s main goal. It was the best project for me, I have achieved a lot in a short period of time.

How did you carry out your activities after the initial training?

- At the beginning, there were thoughts about whether I did the right thing or not, what kind of education I have, what level of knowledge I have, there was a feeling of joy and fear at the same time. I can trust myself completely now.

What special case in your practice do you remember?

- One family was divorced by a court decision six years ago, but after the trial they remained in a state of hatred towards each other and scolded each other. They resolved all issues through the court, but their four children suffered. The clients with whom this case occurred contacted me after seeing me on TV. This couple had not even talked to each other one-on-one.

At the mediation meeting, I worked with each of them, then when the husband blamed his wife and when the wife scolded her husband, I asked all the questions and provided complete explanation, so they understood everything.

"If you had been there when we divorced, we would have reconciled, now it's too late, however we should remain friends," the parties told me.

Their common children, four siblings, were separated, one stayed with his father, three of them stayed with their mother, but the court made most decisions in favor of their mother. The child had problems with studies and other problems. After mediation, the children now communicate with their father, and the mother does not forbid them to do so, they began to think about their future. I am happy to help people in such a conflict situation, and I really hope that we will achieve more in the future.

What conflicts, disputes do people usually have when they come to meditation?

Most of the appeals are a land dispute, contesting property, clearing out property rights, issues on allocated land, land shares, land plots with insufficient documents, there were also appeals related to incomplete inheritance document.

What are your personal observations on working with disputes and conflicts resolution?

When contradictory or incomprehensible questions arise in conversations with people, you notice that the previous pace is changing after listening to a person, asking a questions again, when you pay them attention, bringing their understanding, both sides feel that they are not to blame, and their attitudes towards conflicts in life are changing.

Seeing our efforts to resolve the conflict between the parties, many people remain satisfied. There is a lot of discontent, because most of us do not pay any attention to the conflict. Everyone's point of view changes to positive when the conflict of those who applied for help is resolved, when we solve its cause through negotiations.

Mediation service centers opened by the National Mediation Center in Talas oblast under the Friendly Life project; phone 0 550 993 855