A resident of Balykchy used the help of mediators under the Yntymaktuu Zhashoo (Living in Peace) project to resolve a conflict that lasted for 8 years
Toktobek, the resident of one of the regions where free services have been provided the period of more than six months in Mediation Service Centers opened under the Yntymaktuu Zhashoo (Living in Peace) project, was able to solve an old conflict with his neighbor that lasted for 8 years, with the help of mediators.
HE TOLD US THE FOLLOWING ABOUT HOW HE LEARNED ABOUT MEDIATION:
"That day I got a phone call from the region administration body and was asked to come. I immediately thought “So we will still fight and conflict”. I was at work, but I came there, went into the office and the mediator told me about the project, about mediation, that they help to resolve conflicts, disputes between the two parties. You know, I thought then – "are these guys psychologists or something?". I didn't have any clue about mediation (laughs out)"
THE STORY OF THE CONFLICT WAS THAT, BEING NEIGHBORS, TOKTOBEK AND HIS NEIGHBOR COULD NOT RESOLVE THE CONFLICT THAT AROSE FROM A MISUNDERSTANDING FOR 8 YEARS
Toktobek shares his story:
- It all started with the fact that when my wife worked as a salesman for a neighbor at his shop for a while. Once the situation turned that way so that she had to give up work and take care of the children. My wife informed the neighbor that she would not be able to work further and asked to pay her off. At that time, we really needed money and made up some pans. But he refused and somehow rudely replied that first he needed to check everything and this would take a couple of weeks. Of course, we got angry at first, because we are neighbors, and our relationships have to be that we help each other, and we could not understand why it was necessary to postpone the payment of salary, because we are live close to each other and we’re always there. Since that day, our neighborly relations have become far from peaceful.
I remember as I sometimes would flare up and tell him everything back, then he will also say something when I am not in the mood, and we find new trifling reasons for claims against each other. We have got to the fact on installing the CCTV camera to watch after each other - I was cleaning up my backyard, and he was watching me on CCTV to catch me if I throw garbage on his territory. There were a lot of bad words and insults.
What stage did your conflict reach at that time?
- We are neighbors and to be honest, this conflict was caused by both parties. My neighbor constantly filed complaints and statements against me. And I have never filed any complaints myself, I kept praying to God so that we could solve this in some other peaceful way. I was waiting for him to give in, but he didn't, so I didn't give in either.
“During these 8 years of our conflict, he managed to file about 6 complaints against me to various authorities. Before that, we went to the police, to the Courts of Elders, head of our neighborhood committee. There were fights and days when we were both in the hospital. It has been 8 years since our conflict has started. From time to time, each of us remembered something, and we began to get angry and find another reason to quarrel ... Many of my neighbors are of different ethnicities and this neighbor too. I treated everyone absolutely the same, I never separated people by their ethnicity or anything, but there were also provocations on the topic of ethnicity and language, although our conflict, in fact, arose because of the land," he shares.
How did mediation work out?
- The mediators told us about the project and noted that they need to listen to our story. They said that they would not protect either party, and would listen to explanations from both parties and the decision would only be made by us. Then they called my neighbor and invited him to come. We sat together in the office, talked about what happened, explained our opinions. As a result, we reached some agreement with the help of a mediator.
"Now we greet each other normally, he asks how am I doing, I ask the same, our issues have become solvable, we talk calmly, talk to each other... After the meditation, when we were leaving the regional administration office, going down the stairs there, we started talking to each other. We forgave each other and decided that each of us was guilty, and we want to live in peace from now on," he says.
THE PARTICIPAT OF THIS SUCCESS STORY WISHED TO SHARE HIS OPINION ON THE RESOLUTION OF DISPUTES AND CONFLICTS THROUGH MEDIATION WITH HIS NATIVES
"8 years of conflict. If there is a conflict, then there will definitely be two parties guilty, and if one of them thinks that he is smart, of course the second is smart also. I would advise to apply to mediation services when there is a dispute - there you can speak out, be heard and make a decision together. Thanks to the project that made it possible to resolve this long conflict, otherwise I don't even know how many more years we would have been filing complaints against each other (smiles)," Toktobek says.
MEDIATION SERVICE IN BALYKCHY
The Mediation Service opened by the Yntymaktuu Zhashoo (Living in Peace) project in Balykchi is located at 243 Zh.Abdrakhmanov Street. It is important that residents can apply and receive meditative assistance in resolving conflict issues free of charge during the project implementation period.
